January 12, 2012

Season Four of Jersey Shore Spoilers!

Yesterday I went to the best grocery store in the entire world, which I just happen to live less than a mile from (fyi - if you are in the Atlanta/Decatur area, it's the Dekalb Farmers Market).

As usual, I picked up a few extra goodies for myself that weren't on the list. Yesterday's haul - pomegranate juice, brie cheese and dark chocolate covered espresso beans. From about 2pm on, I was popping a few of these chocolate covered espresso beans every twenty minutes until around 8pm when my husband mentioned that I was going to have a hard time sleeping later.

Cue .... 4am. I am laying in bed with my hands shaking from the caffeine jitters. My mind is racing and I am trying to fall asleep since I have to get up at 6am. I experienced one of those weird 'I don't feel like I slept' but 'I probably did pass out for two hours' things and during this two hour span I had a vision. I figured that I would share my vision with all of you. I, Ashlee, had the season four of Jersey Shore presented to me through my caffeine haze. That is right. Between my heart palpitations and sweaty shakes, I dreamed of Snooki and the gang.

1) In this next season, you may have heard from gossip magazines/blogs that Vinny walks out for a few days because he is sick and tired of all the drama. That is not true actually. He leaves for a few days because he has some magic shows to preform. He apparently is a budding magician and had a few shows booked that conflicted with the Jersey Shore show taping.

2) Snooki falls madly in love with 'The Situation.' Unbeknowest to her, 'The Situation' is actually in love with me. Oh did I mention that I also am in the Season Four of Jersey Shore? I replace Deena. So since 'The Situation' rejects Snooki due to his devotiation to me, she locks herself in the bathroom/closet/small holes all season and cries.

3) Ronnie and Sammi get engaged. But the surprising thing is that they actually turn into a normal couple with healthy communication. No drama from them anymore.

4) Pauly D cuts off all his hair. He is tired of it defining him and instantly becomes much less attractive.
So there you have it! Next season when MTV shows all the drama that occurs on the shore, just remember where you heard it all first. Oh yeah, and keep your eyes peeled out for me!


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