March 16, 2010

High Heels...

Today started out typical enough. Woke up, stumbled to the computer and then made my way to the bathroom to start my intense beauty regimen. First...I brush my teeth. If I am feeling fancy, I <might> floss.  Second, I wash my face with something. I have about four different creams/scrubs that I switch between depending on the quality of my skin that morning. Finally, I apply lotion to my face. Nothing fancy with SPF or anything. And that's it. Always.

But today, something happened. Maybe it was because Ke$ha was blasting through the radio, my dark circles were a little less noticeable or the fact that I have lost a few pounds recently, but I decided to get all done up.

Since I have started working full-time at home, my wardrobe consists of yoga pants, sweats and Pj's. And yes....those three are all the same thing essentially. No longer do I need to put on work pants, argyle sweaters or fancy shoes. No makeup, no hair styling, nothing! Yeah....it is as awesome as it sounds. But, occasionally I do become possessed with the notion of getting way too fancy for some mundane errand.  Today was that day. Make-up, pants with a button/zipper combo, and <gasp> high heels.

So after my clubbing make-up was complete, and my up-do was in place, I moved on to the clothes. Over the Christmas holidays, I went to a consignment store with my mom and bought a pair of 7 for Mankind jeans. Normally...$120 dollars, got them for $25!!! Problem was...they were a bit snug. I told myself that with five pounds of weight loss, they would fit like a glove. I had promptly forgotten about these glorious pants until yesterday, when I found them, tried them on and they fit like a glove! This is the point in the story where I do a dance in front of my mirror, shaking my rear, thinking how fine I look. I complete the outfit with a hot pink cashmere sweater (thanks Mom!), a chocolate brown velvet blazer (random I know...) and some fancy high heels. I typically don't wear heels ever as I have size 10 feet and still can't figure out how to use them properly.

Mind you, today I needed to go to Target to pick up some milk, laundry detergent and orange juice. The Target is only about a 15 minute walk away, so I figured heels wouldn't be bad at all.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Anywho, I leave my apartment in my get-up, looking fabulous for all the peeps at Target. Side note: I don't live in that great of an area, so typically all of the people you want to look fabulous for are at work. Silly me forgot that dozens of un-employed men would be in front of their apartment buildings gawking and calling out. It is hard enough to walk in heels, and even harder when you are trying to not be molested.

After adding the required milk, laundry detergent, spaghetti sauce, and orange juice to my cart, I realized that this was going to be a difficult hike back home. I contemplated for five five minutes about buying some sensible flats at Target for the walk home, but my ego wouldn't let me do it. Besides, what else besides my fake alligator heels would match my chocolate brown velvet blazer so well?!?!

The next twenty minutes involved me balancing super heavy groceries, avoiding city grates, molesters, and attempting to walk home without my knees buckling. I managed to do it without any serious harm to any of my joints or pride, and all the while, I managed to look super fly.

I think there are some days when we need to dress up and look super fabulous, even if you are just going out to buy milk.

End Note: After returning upon the apartment and further checking myself out in the mirror, I determined the chocolate velvet blazer was ridiculous and shall not be worn again.

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